Mi Hamba Blog

I will face my mistakes and grow from them.

We are a culture that has developed a fear of making mistakes. I remember when I was younger, my Dad would often tell me not to be afraid of making mistakes - it’s how we learn. It’s only really a mistake when we make the same one twice!

How wonderful it was to grow up with a belief system that supported learning and growing.

Let’s face it - we all make mistakes. It’s part of our learning process. We learn much quicker and easier when we try something and the outcome isn’t what we expected … or wanted. We don’t often learn from other people’s mistakes, although that would make life much easier.

When we get an outcome we don’t want, it’s a great opportunity for personal growth:

- What went wrong?
- What could we have done better?
- Were there warning signs I ignored?
- How can I do better next time?

The key point is, when we reflect (not dwell) on our mistakes, we can make shifts in our thinking and behavior that will bring us better results. Often we can ward off major disasters by being aware of the intuitions that tell us we’re on the wrong path.

Two simple principles: Admit our mistakes. Learn and grow from them.

I will be personally accountable.

There is a Universal Principle - We are all responsible for our own lives!

There’s tremendous freedom in knowing (and living) this principle:

- We can create our lives the way we want
- We can change what we don’t like
- We’re not responsible for other people’s happiness and success
- We can learn from our mistakes and move onto higher levels of personal growth

Being personally accountable means that we take responsibility for our own happiness, success, wealth, relationships and personal fulfillment. We wholly take the blame for our poor choices AND receive the full credit for that which we get right.

Personal accountability is; meaning what we say and saying what we mean; following through on what we say we will do; never being afraid to admit that we’re wrong; having the courage to make the wrongs right; taking a stand when it’s important to us; taking time to do the small things that make a big difference.

We are all responsible for our own lives! It was worth repeating.

I will conduct my life with excellence.

What is excellence? It’s not simply the achievements in your life, the mile-markers or the toys you collect along the way.
It’s being the best you can be; growing into and being the person you were meant to be, living the life of purpose you were meant to live.

It’s always doing the best you can do; through the tough and the easy times … going that extra mile and not taking “shortcuts” that you know won’t yield you the best results.

It’s being a person of integrity; even when (and especially when) no one is watching … because someone is always watching; even when it’s only you.

It’s doing the right thing; even when the right thing is the hard thing to do … and sometimes unpopular.

It’s lifting others up; choosing kind words and actions to support others rather than put a lid on them

It’s respecting others; recognizing that we’re all doing the best we can at any given moment … respecting that we all live in our own realities based on our different beliefs and points of view … understanding that we’re all connected and when we hurt someone, we hurt ourselves and we love someone, we love ourselves.

Commit to living your best life and always do and be your best. Finish what you start - never quit and never give up.

I will treat others as I would treat myself.

Ahhh…the Golden Rule. We all know it, but do we all practice it?

How about taking it one step further and saying “I will treat others and myself as I would like to be treated.”

This actually has two parts:

- How we treat ourselves
- How we treat others

How we treat ourselves:

How often do we treat ourselves worse than we deserve - worse than we would treat our friends? It seems that we’re our own worst critics and so very, very hard on ourselves. Let’s just give us a break and be our best friend, first and foremost. Let’s be more accepting, more loving, and more forgiving of who we are, how we look, what we do, and how we do it. This will go a long way to improving our self-esteem and self-worth. Let’s treat ourselves as we’d like to be treated.

How we treat others:

We all want and like to be treated well by others. However, many don’t follow this mantra. Stand out from the crowd and treat everyone with the dignity and respect they deserve. You’ll be sought out by others as a person of integrity and character, gathering a community of people that in turn treat you well with dignity and respect.

So the new mantra is, “I will treat others and myself as I would like to be treated.”

When I set a goal, I will work to achieve it.

Setting a goal is actually the first step to achieving anything we want in life. If we just dream about what we want, we’ll never move towards achieving our life long dreams. Something magical happens when we write down our goals. We begin to actually believe and see our dreams becoming a reality.

Unfortunately, most of us (a whopping 90% of us) don’t write down our goals. Maybe because we’re never taught, or maybe because we just can’t be bothered. Either way, if we want what we want bad enough, it’s worth setting a goal to achieve it. Become part of the 10% that get what they want in life.

So you set a goal. What next?

1. Commit to reviewing your goal every morning and every night

 

This embeds your goal in your subconscious mind so that it will go to work on ideas, solutions and move you in the direction of your dreams - especially while you sleep.

 

2. Take steady and consistent action towards your goal

 

Starting and stopping is the worst thing you can do while reaching your goals. Keep that momentum going and focus on doing something every day (however small) towards reaching your goal.

 

3. Push through personal barriers that in the past have prevented you from reaching your goal

 

We often have self-imposed barriers and limiting beliefs that prevent us from reaching our goals. Work through them using positive reinforcing affirmations or use the power of a personal life coach. This is the single biggest reason people don’t reach their goals. Don’t take this for granted - take action.

 

4. NEVER take NO for an answer - there’s always a way, always a solution

 

Here’s where it’s important that you want what you want bad enough. If you don’t, you’ll tuck and run at the first sign of adversity - and you will have adversity. This is really just a test - where you can prove you really want this. There IS always a solution - if you approach all adversity and obstacles on your path to success as an opportunity to learn and grow, your mind will work on more solutions and options rather than more adversity and obstacles.

Setting goals and making a commitment to their achievement is another example of keeping the promises we make to ourselves. Another breeding ground for healthy self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth.

I came across these “Ten Affirmations of Integrity” but there was no mention of the author (otherwise, he/she certainly would be credited for them).

As I read these affirmations, I was struck by how simple, yet powerful they are.

If you review your affirmations daily, you’ll want to add these to your practice. If you don’t do affirmations, you may want to consider starting. By internalizing these affirmations, you will find yourself living in integrity and attracting the abundance you want in your life.

We’ll explore 1 affirmation a day over the next 10 days…

The affirmation, what it means, what it represents, and most importantly, what it means to You!

When I make a promise, I will keep that promise.

How many times has someone made a promise to you that they haven’t kept - never having had the intention of keeping it in the first place? Somehow, you sensed it, didn’t you? And how did that make you feel about the person? Do you expect the promise to be broken next time that person makes a promise to you?

What about the promises that you make to yourself? Do you keep those? These are actually the most important promises to keep. They’ll keep you in integrity to yourself. When we break the promises me make to ourselves (I’ll start exercising tomorrow, I’ll write 200 words a day, I’ll spend more time with my family….) we lower our self-esteem. Eventually, we don’t feel very good about ourselves and have a low self-worth.

Be the person that keeps promises to others, and most importantly to yourself. You’ll feel good about yourself, others will feel good about you and know that they can trust your word.

…a reflective review of an impactful movie

Recently I was offered the opportunity to review Debbie Ford’s new movie, The Shadow Effect. Of course, I jumped at the chance to get a first-hand look and share my thoughts with you. I soon found out this wasn’t a movie I could just watch once and easily write about. Little did I know then what a pivotal point this would be in my life, and how it would change me. You see, The Shadow Effect isn’t a movie you watch, it’s one you experience.

The Experts

Debbie Ford brought together a stellar lineup of spiritual healers and forward thinking leaders, many of which you’re likely familiar with or have heard of. Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, James Van Praagh, Mark Victor Hansen, and many others. Their insights and perspective bring clarity where there’s confusion, and peace and acceptance where there’s conflict. Both in your inner and outer worlds.

What is The Shadow?

“To have a shadow is normal.” ~Deepak Chopra

Simply put, our shadow is what we don’t want others to see - it’s those parts of ourselves that we hide from everyone, often even ourselves. It’s those traits that we consider undesirable. But who determines what those “undesirable qualities” are? Society - our family - our friends - our peers - mostly, our perception of what is undesirable is influenced by our environment.

Most of us have created masks so that we can feel we “belong”. That means we have a “public” life (what we show to others) and a “secret life” (who we really are). We hide behind our masks trying hard to pretend we’re not what we most hate. Eventually, we can’t hide behind our masks any longer and we MUST face who we really are.

How Does Our Shadow Rear It’s Ugly Head?

“What we can’t be with won’t let us be.” ~Debbie Ford

The Shadow Effect does an outstanding job of illustrating how not facing ourselves comes out in destructive ways - writing bad checks, dipping into trust funds, cheating, stealing, hurting others, etc, etc. Those may seem like extreme examples, but what of the person who is kind and supportive to everyone at work but then goes home and yells at their kids? Or the person who starts arguments and belittles others just to feel better about themselves. These are all ways that our shadow rears its ugly head. We work so hard to feel good about ourselves and then turn around and sabotage it.

What’s more, feelings we suppress build up over time and scream to be released. If we don’t do the self-work, those feelings will eventually come out when we least expect it and they can destroy our lives - and those around us. Many times, those repressed feelings are more toxic to our bodies that what we drink or eat.

Debbie Ford shares stirring examples of how we project our unwanted qualities onto others and how that gets reflected right back to us. When we react to a projection, we become that projection. It’s a vicious cycle. Her message is, “If you don’t deal with your shadow, IT will deal with you.”

Embracing Our Shadow

“Forgiveness is the hallway between the past the future.” ~ Debbie Ford

Okay, it’s not all bad. Our shadow can be a good thing. Almost like your very best friend who you share everything with. The good, and also what you consider to be “bad”.

One of the examples that Debbie Ford used in the movie brought this concept into absolute clarity for me. The way she tells this story is engaging, raw and funny at the same time. I won’t spoil it for you by trying to recapture the essence - you’ll just need to get your own copy and watch. So Debbie talks about a moment when she was confronted with something that she had repressed about herself - in particular that she had this perception that she’s a bitch. She was directed to find a time in her life when being a “bitch” helped her - that it was a good thing. Of course, she found many examples where this part of herself was a benefit in her life.

This was so powerful for me because I could immediately see where some of the qualities in my life that others, and subsequently me, viewed as “bad” were actually good and helped me in certain situations. The other great gift from this example is that I can now see those previously perceived “negative” qualities in others, as powerful strengths when channeled in useful ways.

My Shadow Experience

I believe that everything happens for a reason, that coincidences are merely life delivering opportunities and messages at exactly the right time. My experience with The Shadow Effect is no exception. This DVD came to me from 2 different sources at virtually the same time - a clear message that this would change my life….and it has.

Through this experience I’ve continued my introspective journey into who I really am, and realized that I’m ok just as I am right now. That we’re all okay just as we are. I let go. That’s my lesson in this life, to just let go … and to trust.

Some amazing things have happened since my first viewing of this DVD. Aside from the incredible personal growth opportunities, I’ve connected with more remarkable coaches that will be working with us shortly, two additional income streams have landed in my lap, but mostly, I have a renewed sense of “rightness” in my world.

I’ve known for some time that we’re all connected and what one thinks, feels and acts affects everyone - directly or indirectly. But as Debbie Ford talked about the “collective shadow” it brought new awareness and understanding to what this really means - for all of us.

This powerful program will change the relationship you have with yourself and how you view the people around you. A must-have program for anyone wanting to break free of the inner darkness that holds them back from living the life of their dreams. I recommend that if you’re going to add this powerful gift to your library, then The Shadow Effect Interactive Version is the only way to go.

Here’s one final thought: When you know that we all have our shadows, doesn’t it make you look at others differently? With compassion and understanding?

Be well. Live well.

Options for Viewing:

The Shadow Effect DVD

The Shadow Effect Online

The Shadow Effect Interactive Version

Here’s a very insightful and powerful interview we found with Will Smith on the Law of Attraction, goals and success. There are some great nuggets here …

What really strikes me in this interview is how Will talks about the power we have when we make a choice, rather feeling like we are at effect at all the things that happen in our life. The true foundation of the Law of Attraction.

This video is worth watching twice!

Discover Your Dream Life!

Day 8:   What Now?

These past days, you’ve gotten in touch with what’s really important to YOU - not your family, friends, or peers, but YOU. You’ve awoken the dreamer within. Keep that momentum going.

Plant the seeds for your future right now…

Take one area (health, wealth, family, etc.) and begin building your dream life. Set a goal you really want to achieve and take the action steps to bring you closer to success. As you begin to see improvements you’ll gain confidence to pursue more dreams.

Live with passion and purpose. It’s your birthright to live a joyful and fulfilling life!

TIP: Jump on over to the Mi Hamba Journaling community and connect with like-minded people. You’ll get the support you need to start building that dream life!

It’s FREE!

Discover Your Dream Life!

Day 7: Personal Growth & Education

Many people think education ends when they leave school, college or university. Education is an ongoing process and something most adults do through taking additional courses, reading books and attending workshops.

The same holds true for your personal growth. In fact, your growth is essential to the quality of your life. As in everywhere else in nature, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” If you’re choosing to live a happy and fulfilling life, personal growth MUST be play an important role. By getting to know who you are and what you’re all about, you can then direct it to the type of work and activities that bring you the greatest joy.

If money, time and other circumstances weren’t an issue in your life, what personal growth and education pursuits would you enjoy?

Do you pursue your own personal growth?
What kinds of programs, seminars and workshops do you participate in?
What other educational pursuits do you enjoy?
Are you retraining in a new field?
What books do you read?

Given the opportunity, what changes would you make in your personal growth and continuing education?

Journal about your current personal growth and education pursuits and what you ideally want to be doing.