Mi Hamba Blog

Do you always blame other people when things go wrong?  It seems to be the automatic thing to do.  We are programmed to see others mistakes as opposed to our own. 

But what is really happening when we blame others all the time?

 First, we are opening ourselves up to be blamed by others for their problems.  If you just got passed up for yet another promotion, you may want to blame the boss.  What happens when one day you are the boss?  Will you accept the blame from your employees for their lack of results?  If you are always blaming others for your problems, you will have to accept the blame from them for their problems. 

Second, if you are always placing the blame on other people, you are probably not very popular.  You may have even lost a friend or two because of arguments over whose fault it is.  Wouldn’t you be better served to take your share of the responsibility and work together to fix the problem?

Last but definitely not least, if you are always blaming everyone else,  you are giving up your control.  If someone else is creating your problems, then they are the only ones who can fix your problems.  Wouldn’t it be better if you had that power yourself?  The sooner you can acknowledge that you had a part in creating the mess, the sooner you can begin to fix it.

Although it may seem easier at the time to blame someone else for your problems, you are better off in the long run if you face up to them yourself.  Keep your integrity, keep your friends, keep your power and take your responsibility!

If you’ve never heard of Rudyard Kipling’s timeless “If” poem, then you’re in for a real treat!  “If” provides an inspirational and motivational set of rules for living a fulfilled and integrity-based life, which is more relevant today than when Mr. Kipling wrote it.  You’ll find “If” to be a fitting blueprint for your own personal development. 

Enjoy!

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‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And - which is more - you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

One of the most often overlooked principles of personal development is that of integrity.  I believe the most important facet of integrity is to be “in integrity” to yourself.  So let’s look at the definition of Integrity according to the Encarta North American English Dictionary:Integrity:  To be in possession of firm principles.  The quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards and the state of being complete or undivided, of being sound or undamaged.

Things that make you go HHMMMMM.

Now more than likely, you are just like me.  Once you give your word, say yup I’ll do that or even if it is inferred that it is your responsibility you will be “in integrity” to that person or situation.  No doubt about it right? After all you gave your word and you are a person of integrity.  Most of us will do what ever it takes to keep our word and if for some reason we are unable to we will confront that situation and let the other people involved know that there will be a delay or that there may be a problem in completing the task.

So here is a challenge – go look at yourself in the mirror, look right into your own eyes and honestly tell yourself that you have kept the promises you have made to yourself.  I know that if I am completely honest with myself, I am unable to do that in more situations than I am able to.  How many times have I promised myself to eat better, take better care of myself, do whatever it takes to achieve the goals and aspirations that I have that burning desire for?  How many times have I let myself down without saying a word to myself or even acknowledging the lack of integrity to myself?  Assuming that we are all being honest with each other and especially ourselves that answer is many times.

So here is what I am going to do and maybe if you have been “out of integrity” with yourself you will as well.  I am going to dive even deeper into my Personal Growth and ask my life coach to hold me accountable.  People have more trouble holding themselves accountable than allowing others to do it for them.  Reach out and allow a life coach to assist you on the road to integrity to yourself  become complete, sound, undivided and undamaged.