The #1 thing we all want is to be happy. So why aren’t we? Invest 3 minutes right now to learn the answer to that question.
Marci’s New York Time’s bestseller, Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out has just been released in paperback - just yesterday! If you don’t own your own copy, now is the right time.
Never in our history have so many of us needed to hear this message.
Your life is waiting!
How Are You Connecting With People?
Let’s face it, the connection we have with other people affect our health, happiness, financial worth, and success. Whether that’s through close interpersonal relationships with family and partners, business relationships or casual acquaintances. How we connect (or don’t) with others affects every area of our lives. Doesn’t it make sense then to sharpen our communication skills - to learn how to connect better with people around us?
“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
It may surprise you to know that you have only about 90 seconds to make that first impression - for good, for bad, for indifferent. Make yourself memorable - by the way you talk, the way you dress, your laughter, the way you introduce yourself. Stand out in the crowd - be remembered.
Cultivating your inner environment for success is as easy as knowing what it is you want. Sounds simple right?
The hard part is developing the habitual way of thinking and being that supports you in that environment. This is harder especially if you are surrounded by negativity and nay-sayers. Just know that it is possible and you can do it. Here are some steps to create your inner environment…
Build your character one trait at a time. You know that list you just made of who you want to become? Take one, any one trait and work on that for the next 30 days. There has been significant research that supports a new habit takes 30 days to form - mainly because it takes 25-30 consecutive days for the brain to create a new neuro-pathway - to change a belief, a habit or to develop new ones. In the most basic terms, your brain needs 30 consecutive days to ingrain the new path into your subconscious. Once you’ve mastered something on your list, move onto the next one. Success breeds success.
Life is what you create it to be. Once you really grasp that principle and take full responsibility for your life, your environment, your success, you will realize that the side effects of conscious living may include happiness!
Do you journal everyday? It is an important part of your personal growth journey as well as a great tool to help you reach your goals.According to research done on the subject at Harvard University, those who journal regularly have 50% less doctors visits than those who do not.
It has also been discovered that if one has gone through a stressful or unhappy experience, journaling about it can decrease their stress levels. Upon first writing and recalling the event, the stress levels will go up, but then they go down to an even lower level then they were prior to writing about the experience.
So we know that journaling is a good thing, but how does one begin? For those who have never written in a diary or journal before, it may seem like a difficult task. What do you write about? The good news is there are no rules or regulations with journaling. You can write whatever comes to mind. If nothing comes to mind, write about how nothing comes to mind, or why nothing is coming to mind.
If you simply just begin to make journaling part of your daily routine, it will soon become a habit. Like every other habit, it will get easier and easier. Soon the writing will just flow. You will be amazed at how simple it is, and how much better you feel. Your journal will soon become your best friend, you won’t want to miss a single day of writing.
You feel it creeping up on you like a bad dream. With one small thought, it starts in the pit of your stomach as a flutter and quickly builds momentum to debilitating fear. You can’t move. You can’t breathe. You’re caught in a trap, held hostage from your life …
Why do we worry? Why do we spend so much time thinking about the worst possible outcome of a situation, only to realize that our fears were completely unfounded? Why do we entertain those cursed “what ifs”?
- What if I get into a car accident?
- What if I lose my job?
- What if I lose my house?
- What if I get sick and can’t pay the bills?
- What if my husband/wife leaves me?
- What if I fail?
Less than 5% of what we worry about are things that we have control over. We certainly have no control over the “what ifs”. How could we - they haven’t happened yet!
Since we can choose to think and believe anything we want, why not choose to believe a “what if” outcome that makes you happy instead of worried? If this is a new concept to you, empower yourself by learning more about how your thoughts become things. There are many law of attraction, self-help and personal growth books that can help you form a new positive thinking habit.
It is time for our seventh and final tip on how to use stress to further your personal growth. This tip can be summed up with one simple word — Gratitude.
If you have not already read my previous six tips on this subject, go back and read them now; doing so will help you to understand why I suggest that you should be grateful for the stress in your life.
Stress is the way our body and/or our mind lets us know that there is a problem that needs to be dealt with. If you did not experience a certain amount of stress in your life, it could be devastating to your physical and mental health.
Be grateful that your body and mind provide this wonderful warning signal so that you can make the necessary adjustments in your life. If you didn’t know something was wrong, you would not be able to fix it. Stress gives you that opportunity to find what isn’t working in your life and frees you to make the changes necessary to live a more fulfilling and joyous life. Why be stuck in a miserable existence when you can instead be happy and free?
I hope that you have enjoyed this series of tips on stress management. Remember, heed the warnings of stress. Use it to motivate yourself to identify the problem and fix it. If you simply just need a break, take it. Live in the present, face your fears today, don’t waste time worrying about tomorrow. Be grateful for the stress in your life, as it guides you to make the positive changes that allow you to live a happier life.
There are those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; and those who don’t know what the heck happened.
~Unknown
What kind of person are you? And why should it matter? Because your happiness and success in life will be determined by what kind of person you are.
Those who make things happen
These are the people that know what they want, have a clear vision of the outcome, and take consistent action to make it happen. That doesn’t mean that they don’t feel fear. They do - but they take action anyway. That’s why these people always seem to get what they want. Contrary to popular belief though, success isn’t handed to them; they work for it! You know these people just by being in their presence. It’s who they’ve become on the journey, not what they’ve achieved that makes them stand out in the crowd.
Those who watch things happen
This is where the majority of our population resides. It’s easier to watch the “doers’ get things done than put ourselves out there and risk failing, being scrutinized, having people point out our misfortunes. These people are just one small step from living their greatness. If only they could dare to dream again and move past their fear.
Those who don’t know what the heck happened
Yes, believe it or not, the result of living as one who just watches things happen, ends up wondering what the heck happened. At the end of your life (which you can’t predict), what will you be thinking about? Regrets, regrets and more regrets. What didn’t you dare to do? What opportunities did you pass up because of your fear? What life didn’t you live?
There’s good news here. You have a choice. You can choose to be the type of person you want to be. It’s that simple. I didn’t say easy - just simple. It will take work but think about the rewards. Choose to take that first step towards your dream. You’ll be amazed at how much easier it becomes - step by step by step by step. You’re creating a new habit that will replace the old habit of watching things happen from the sidelines. Before you know it you’re living your dream and working on the next one. Now doesn’t that sound like a happier way to live?! You are now the person you wanted to be.
Tip Number three on how to use stress as a personal growth tool is to recognize it as an indicator that it is time for a break.
It always amazes me with the advent of all of these new technologies that are supposed to make our lives easier, that we continue to get busier and busier. Have you ever considered the possibility that while your blackberry is convenient and a great multi-tasking tool, it may actually be increasing your level of stress?
We are checking email while dropping the kids off at soccer practice and returning phone calls while making dinner. What happened to the ‘Me’ time?
We spend so much of our lives worrying about everyone else, that we tend to forget about ourselves. The problem with that, is if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else.
When you start to feel overwhelmed, overworked, and under-appreciated it is probably time for a break. You body and your mind are telling you something, they can’t take it anymore. It is time to start looking after number one.
Go for a nice relaxing walk with the dog, plan a romantic weekend away just the two of you, or have a nice hot bubble bath by candle light. Whatever works for you, do it. But whatever you do, the most important thing to remember is — Turn the Cell Phone off!!
Tip number two on how to use stress as a personal growth tool, is to allow stress to motivate you to make a positive change in your life. Nobody likes feeling stressed out, so why not use those feelings as motivation to remove them from your life.
In many cases it is these negative feelings that are the most powerful motivators for change. We should all be able to live in a happy and relaxed state of mind. When stress starts to rule your life, know that you deserve to feel better.
The important thing to remember is that you must get to the root cause of the stress in order to eliminate it. If you don’t know what is wrong, how are you going to be able to fix it? If you just simply need a break then go for a walk, or meditate, or listen to a nice piece of music. Hiding behind things such as overeating, smoking, taking drugs or alcohol is just going to make matters worse in the long run.
Remember prolonged stress can be a contributing factor to depression, anxiety and many health concerns. Do not accept it as part of your everyday life. Know that you deserve better. Your life coach may be able to help you identify where the problem lies, and to help you get back on the right track.
We all experience stress in our lives at all times. The levels and types of stress can be good and bad. We can learn how to use stress in a positive way. One effective way to do this is to recognize stress as the warning signal that it is.
When your stress level becomes noticeably heightened, it is time to identify what is really causing it. You must recognize that either your body or your mind is trying to tell you that something in your life needs attention.
If the problem is not readily apparent, you can start to find it by making an appointment for a check up with your Doctor. If there is a disease or malfunction of some form or type within your body, stress is the body’s way of letting you know it has a problem that needs attention.
Once you eliminate any health concerns, you can then continue to review each of the other areas of your life; financial/wealth, career/business, relationships, free time/fun. With careful analysis, you will discover a problem in one or a combination of those areas.
Remember stress is a warning signal; use it to figure out the problem area in your life. In order to fix the problem, you have to first know what the problem is.
This is the first of seven tips on how to use stress as a personal growth tool. Stay tuned for my next post which will introduce tip number two.
