Mi Hamba Blog

I came across these “Ten Affirmations of Integrity” but there was no mention of the author (otherwise, he/she certainly would be credited for them).

As I read these affirmations, I was struck by how simple, yet powerful they are.

If you review your affirmations daily, you’ll want to add these to your practice. If you don’t do affirmations, you may want to consider starting. By internalizing these affirmations, you will find yourself living in integrity and attracting the abundance you want in your life.

We’ll explore 1 affirmation a day over the next 10 days…

The affirmation, what it means, what it represents, and most importantly, what it means to You!

When I make a promise, I will keep that promise.

How many times has someone made a promise to you that they haven’t kept - never having had the intention of keeping it in the first place? Somehow, you sensed it, didn’t you? And how did that make you feel about the person? Do you expect the promise to be broken next time that person makes a promise to you?

What about the promises that you make to yourself? Do you keep those? These are actually the most important promises to keep. They’ll keep you in integrity to yourself. When we break the promises me make to ourselves (I’ll start exercising tomorrow, I’ll write 200 words a day, I’ll spend more time with my family….) we lower our self-esteem. Eventually, we don’t feel very good about ourselves and have a low self-worth.

Be the person that keeps promises to others, and most importantly to yourself. You’ll feel good about yourself, others will feel good about you and know that they can trust your word.

Have you heard of the Ripple Effect? Like a drop of water that ripples out from the center, our words and actions have an effect on others, and subsequently the effect that those people have on the people they come into contact with, and subsequently the effect that those people …. you get the picture.

Here’s what I mean …

Let’s say that you’re driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic. You’re late for work because you slept in a little. Someone wants in your lane of traffic … they’re signaling to get in and cars just keep going by, not letting the driver in. The driver makes eye contact with you - you smile and wave them in front of you. The driver smiles back, waves and gestures a “thank you”.

That has a ripple effect. This makes you feel pretty good that you helped someone - even in a very small way. Your kindness also effects the mood of the driver and will ultimately effect how that person interacts with others throughout the day. Maybe they remember your kindness when they stop for coffee and have a pleasant conversation with the barista. Or maybe they go out of their way to be friendly to a usually gruff co-worker, thus effecting their day. That’s the ripple effect.

Let’s look at the flipside … same scenario - you’re in bumper-to-bumper traffic and you’re late for work. The same driver is signaling to get into your lane of traffic. You think, “No way are they getting in front of ME!” You, like the other drivers, deliberately leave no room for the driver to ease into your lane. Maybe you even make a rude gesture as you go by.

This too has a ripple effect. The driver will remember the stressful drive into work and the person who “flipped them off”. This will effect his mood throughout the day and how he interacts with others. Maybe he stops for coffee and instead of having a pleasant conversation with the barista, he complains that his coffee isn’t the way he asked for it. Maybe he even goes out of his way to be gruff with his gruff co-worker, looking for some way to release his pent up frustration from his commute.

So you see, the things we say and the things we do absolutely have an effect on those we come into contact with. Something as simple as a smile can set someone on a path to spreading that same kindness to others. And also, something as simple as a harsh word or tone can also set someone on a path to spreading more harshness.

The question becomes, “How can I create a positive ripple today?”

…a reflective review of an impactful movie

Recently I was offered the opportunity to review Debbie Ford’s new movie, The Shadow Effect. Of course, I jumped at the chance to get a first-hand look and share my thoughts with you. I soon found out this wasn’t a movie I could just watch once and easily write about. Little did I know then what a pivotal point this would be in my life, and how it would change me. You see, The Shadow Effect isn’t a movie you watch, it’s one you experience.

The Experts

Debbie Ford brought together a stellar lineup of spiritual healers and forward thinking leaders, many of which you’re likely familiar with or have heard of. Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, James Van Praagh, Mark Victor Hansen, and many others. Their insights and perspective bring clarity where there’s confusion, and peace and acceptance where there’s conflict. Both in your inner and outer worlds.

What is The Shadow?

“To have a shadow is normal.” ~Deepak Chopra

Simply put, our shadow is what we don’t want others to see - it’s those parts of ourselves that we hide from everyone, often even ourselves. It’s those traits that we consider undesirable. But who determines what those “undesirable qualities” are? Society - our family - our friends - our peers - mostly, our perception of what is undesirable is influenced by our environment.

Most of us have created masks so that we can feel we “belong”. That means we have a “public” life (what we show to others) and a “secret life” (who we really are). We hide behind our masks trying hard to pretend we’re not what we most hate. Eventually, we can’t hide behind our masks any longer and we MUST face who we really are.

How Does Our Shadow Rear It’s Ugly Head?

“What we can’t be with won’t let us be.” ~Debbie Ford

The Shadow Effect does an outstanding job of illustrating how not facing ourselves comes out in destructive ways - writing bad checks, dipping into trust funds, cheating, stealing, hurting others, etc, etc. Those may seem like extreme examples, but what of the person who is kind and supportive to everyone at work but then goes home and yells at their kids? Or the person who starts arguments and belittles others just to feel better about themselves. These are all ways that our shadow rears its ugly head. We work so hard to feel good about ourselves and then turn around and sabotage it.

What’s more, feelings we suppress build up over time and scream to be released. If we don’t do the self-work, those feelings will eventually come out when we least expect it and they can destroy our lives - and those around us. Many times, those repressed feelings are more toxic to our bodies that what we drink or eat.

Debbie Ford shares stirring examples of how we project our unwanted qualities onto others and how that gets reflected right back to us. When we react to a projection, we become that projection. It’s a vicious cycle. Her message is, “If you don’t deal with your shadow, IT will deal with you.”

Embracing Our Shadow

“Forgiveness is the hallway between the past the future.” ~ Debbie Ford

Okay, it’s not all bad. Our shadow can be a good thing. Almost like your very best friend who you share everything with. The good, and also what you consider to be “bad”.

One of the examples that Debbie Ford used in the movie brought this concept into absolute clarity for me. The way she tells this story is engaging, raw and funny at the same time. I won’t spoil it for you by trying to recapture the essence - you’ll just need to get your own copy and watch. So Debbie talks about a moment when she was confronted with something that she had repressed about herself - in particular that she had this perception that she’s a bitch. She was directed to find a time in her life when being a “bitch” helped her - that it was a good thing. Of course, she found many examples where this part of herself was a benefit in her life.

This was so powerful for me because I could immediately see where some of the qualities in my life that others, and subsequently me, viewed as “bad” were actually good and helped me in certain situations. The other great gift from this example is that I can now see those previously perceived “negative” qualities in others, as powerful strengths when channeled in useful ways.

My Shadow Experience

I believe that everything happens for a reason, that coincidences are merely life delivering opportunities and messages at exactly the right time. My experience with The Shadow Effect is no exception. This DVD came to me from 2 different sources at virtually the same time - a clear message that this would change my life….and it has.

Through this experience I’ve continued my introspective journey into who I really am, and realized that I’m ok just as I am right now. That we’re all okay just as we are. I let go. That’s my lesson in this life, to just let go … and to trust.

Some amazing things have happened since my first viewing of this DVD. Aside from the incredible personal growth opportunities, I’ve connected with more remarkable coaches that will be working with us shortly, two additional income streams have landed in my lap, but mostly, I have a renewed sense of “rightness” in my world.

I’ve known for some time that we’re all connected and what one thinks, feels and acts affects everyone - directly or indirectly. But as Debbie Ford talked about the “collective shadow” it brought new awareness and understanding to what this really means - for all of us.

This powerful program will change the relationship you have with yourself and how you view the people around you. A must-have program for anyone wanting to break free of the inner darkness that holds them back from living the life of their dreams. I recommend that if you’re going to add this powerful gift to your library, then The Shadow Effect Interactive Version is the only way to go.

Here’s one final thought: When you know that we all have our shadows, doesn’t it make you look at others differently? With compassion and understanding?

Be well. Live well.

Options for Viewing:

The Shadow Effect DVD

The Shadow Effect Online

The Shadow Effect Interactive Version