Mi Hamba Blog

We all do it…we talk to ourselves. Some out loud, many more quietly in our own minds. There’s the monkey-chatter that goes on in our minds and then there’s the conscious conversations that feel like our “other” self talking to us. It’s that “talk” that I want to talk about here.

What do you say when you talk to yourself? How do you say it? What tone do you use? Are you kind and supportive, or condescending and demeaning? Do you encourage yourself to be the best you can be, or tell yourself why you shouldn’t even bother trying?

Our conversations (self-talk) with ourselves, has everything to do with our self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence. In fact, they’re wrapped around each other so closely that in order to change any one of them, we must address all. If you don’t feel worthy, your self talk won’t be supportive of you and your dreams. On the other hand, if you have high self-esteem, your self talk will likely be encouraging.

Having high self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence is the cornerstone to building the kind of life you dream of. Without them, you won’t find the courage to go after what you want or surround yourself with the people to support you and your dreams.

Here’s a tip…monitor your self-talk. Begin practicing talking to yourself as if you were your very best friend - because you are. Be supportive and non-judgmental. Observe and listen just as a best friend does. As you change your conversations, you change the way you feel about yourself.

As I was listening to one of my favorite speakers, Wayne Dyer, he quoted Mother Theresa’s “Final Analysis”. In her lifetime, Mother Theresa brought inner healing and peace to many - thousands, if not millions. Her words have a deeper meaning - meaning for anyone regardless of religious and spiritual beliefs.

These words to live by have stuck in my mind for weeks so I felt compelled to share them here. Enjoy!

The Final Analysis

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will have some false friends and some true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight.
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it’s all between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

The inspiring story of the Bamboo tree is much like Life itself - you have to have faith, belief and persistence. It also is a story of stability, structure, and maturity.

In becoming a successful entrepreneur, growing company, or even growing as a person, remember to always be watering your tree, planting roots, and building your foundation.

With persistence, rewards will follow! Never give up!

When we say our life isn’t working, what we’re really saying is that there’s something in our lives that isn’t working - another direction we’re drawn to, or elements that hold us back from living our purpose. If you’re feeling this way, question what doesn’t make sense in your life.

In order to make the changes that will make a meaningful difference, we must first understand where we are right now, and how we got there. It’s almost like taking a spectator approach to the movie of our lives, and reporting back on it.

- What’s your life like right now - the good and the bad?
- How does it make you feel?
- What circumstances and choices brought you there?
- How many of the circumstances in your life keep you from feeling good?

This awareness process is so very important in identifying what’s not working for us, what doesn’t make sense. So often we don’t even recognize the subtle things, the habits, the routines that are keeping us stuck and make us feel like life isn’t what it’s supposed to be. By consciously putting our attention on it, in a non-judgmental way, we can begin to change the things, circumstances and habits that block us from living a happy, fulfilling and meaningful life. Isn’t that what we all ultimately want?!

Now that you know what’s been happening, promise yourself that you’ll take some time to listen to what your inner voice is trying to tell you. Journal about your life this next week and identify those things that you can change. You’ll be amazed at what you learn about yourself and how easily what doesn’t make sense, can change.

Is there something in your life that you want to change? Chances are the answer is yes! Most of us have something that we want to change - sometimes we don’t know what that is, just that we want a change. What I mean is, something in your life may feel uncomfortable or like something is missing, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.

Regardless of what change we seek, it all starts with Awareness. After all, how can you change anything if you’re not aware it needs changing, or that it even exists? Here’s an example…

You get in your car every weekday morning to start your commute. It’s a long and frustrating one and you always arrive at work aggravated and tense. You don’t even realize you react this way until one day while refilling your coffee, a co-worker mentions how tense you are and asks what’s going on. You suddenly realize that it’s your daily commute that has you bottled up every day. Your co-worker suggests an alternate route that’s virtually traffic free. Another co-worker who overhears your conversation suggests adjusting your work schedule - come in 1/2 hour earlier and leave 1/2 hour earlier - bypassing the worst traffic times of the day.

Before you had this conversation, you weren’t aware of how the tension from the commute affected you during the drive, before the drive, all day at work, and when you got home. By becoming aware of the circumstances that created that uncomfortable feeling inside, you can now be open to finding the solutions that better fit with what you want.

Think about that … open your mind to what’s going on in your life and how you react to it. You’ll begin to see the things that keep you stuck. Once identified, your world opens up to the infinite possibilities that bring the change you seek - consciously or subconsciously.

Haven’t we all thought of giving up at one time or another?! But, winning isn’t about finishing first - success is about getting up each time you fall.

As we pursue our life’s dreams, we have points at which we stumble, question, and doubt. That’s the best time to pick ourselves up and continue the race.

Watch this latest installment of Simple Truth’s inspirational movies….

Thank you Tish for sharing this with us today!

What can you do to begin to experience more joy in your life right now? To get immediate relief and escape from stresses in your life…to have FUN! I call them the “50 Ways to a Happier You”

Only you know what makes you happy. That unique combination of seeing, experiencing and doing that makes you forget everything else and just be in the moment. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? Likely, you’ve stopped seeing, experiencing and doing those things that bring you joy. Let’s bring them back now.

Make a list of 50 things that make you happy. They don’t need to cost money, or involve others, or mean that you have to travel to get there - although they can. What’s important is that you list the things, even the seemingly small things, that bring you joy.

Here’s a short list from others who have done this exercise:

- Reading
- Enjoying my coffee on the patio
- Long drives on winding roads
- Fishing with the kids
- Taking the dogs for a walk
- Listening to music
- Bubble baths
- Travelling
- Garage sale shopping
- Painting

If you can’t think of 50 things right now, that’s ok. Keep the list with you and add to it when you recall another thing that brings you joy. In the meantime, do something from the list every day, or at the very least, several times a week.

The more you put yourself in situations that bring you joy, the less that stress takes over. The less stress and more joy, the easier you’ll be able to get in touch with what’s most important to you.

Is true happiness as imaginary to you as Tinkerbell and fairy dust? It doesn’t have to be. Happiness is our natural state of being … one that may have eluded you until now, but no longer.

Who Are You

Do you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore? If so, that could be the reason you’re not experiencing the kind of happiness we’re talking about here. But where do you start?

Life Purpose: We all have one. It’s what defines our role in life and our way of contributing - another factor in happiness. It’s a combination of our passions, talents and character; the calling of our soul. Living life on purpose means we’re in harmony with what’s most important to us. If you don’t know what yours is, begin to explore what matters most to you and what you feel happiest doing. Take time alone to reflect and journal about your insights.

Ok, you get it. But you’re not in touch with your life purpose … yet. For some, uncovering life purpose comes quick and easy…for others, it takes some time. Either way, patience and trust is key in this process. As you gain clarity, life takes on new meaning.

Living a life on purpose not only brings you back to happiness, but it’s the responsible way to live - by example.

Happiness.  What is it? With well being and contentment to be glad, cheerful, lighthearted, joyful, joyous, satisfied.

No matter how you define it, it’s a state of “being” - a way to “feel”.  It’s when those pleasure endorphins race through our bodies creating that euphoric state - our natural state of being.  Why then, do so many of us race through life in pursuit of it…forever searching?

The Eternal Search

Why do so many of us keep searching for happiness and never seem to find it?  Sure, there are those fleeting moments or events that bring us joy, but I’m talking about real happiness; the kind that comes from deep inside - who we are, not what we experience.  That kind of ultimate happiness is right in front of us, waiting to be embraced again.  But alas, we’re blind to it.

No more!  That’s about to change…

Youthful Joy

Do you remember when you were a child, how happiness came so easy, so effortlessly?  In fact, you probably didn’t give the subject of “happiness” much thought at all.  You just were happy.  That kind of youthful joy is what I suggest is our natural state.  It comes from inside us, not any external event or location.  So what happened?

As we grew up, we had “responsibilities” thrust on us and were taught to be “practical” and “sensible” and “cautious” - all those things that old, outdated ways of living will tell us we need to be.  The problem is, we lose who we are in the process - the essence of where our joy comes from.  When we’re slotted into a life that doesn’t fit with who we are, and what we’re meant to be doing in this life (our purpose), happiness seeps out of us like the air out of the tire with a small nail in it.  It’s a slow leak of our life force, justified with the  “that’s just the way life is” attitude.

It’s not - life is meant to be joyous, fun and fulfilling.

Take the time to reconnect with what’s most important to you in life.  Do the thing you enjoy doing.  Experience life with youthful and inquisitive eyes.  Surround yourself with the people and experiences that bring out the best in you.  Bring back that youthful joy of life!

This is an excerpt from Stephen R. Covey’s “Daily Reflections For Highly Effective People“.

“If my sense of security lies in my reputation or in the things I have, my life will be in a constant state of threat and jeopardy that these possessions may be lost or stolen or devalued.  If I’m in the presence of someone of greater net worth or fame or status, I feel inferior.  If I’m in the presence of someone of lesser net worth or fame or status, I feel superior.  My sense of self-worth constantly fluctuates.  I don’t have any sense of constancy or anchorage or persistent selfhood.  I am constantly trying to protect and insure my assets, properties, securities, position, or reputation.”