Mi Hamba Blog

How do you react to life’s bombardment of daily stressful situations?  Are you quick tempered and do you easily fly off the handle, or do you remain calm, cool, and collected?

I have battled with a quick temper since I was a child, it has taken me a long time to learn how to control my temper by raising my self-awareness.  If someone cut me off on the road in the past, my immediate reaction was to get upset and give them the finger.  If I spilt my morning coffee all over my shirt, I would get upset and allow it to ruin the rest of my day. 

Once I developed an understanding of the law of attraction, I realized I was attracting more situations in my life which created those negative, angry outbursts.  It was time for some attitude adjustments.

One of these adjustments came with learning how to be more empathetic.  Once I was able to put myself in the shoes of the guy who just cut me off, I was able to stop overreacting to what he did.  I realized maybe he isn’t really a jerk, but instead he is late for an appointment, or maybe he simply miscalculated how fast I was going.  By putting myself in the other person’s shoes, it allowed me to be less reactive and more understanding.

Another big adjustment I made was learning how to roll with the punches.  Let’s face it, bad stuff happens to all of us, regardless of how we react to it.  I became a lot more adaptable to life’s stresses once I viewed them as a normal part of my life as apposed to a big traumatic event. 

Bad things are going to happen to us and people are going to do things to potentially upset us.  Learning how to remain calm in spite of these situations frees us to remain in a more positive and supportive mindset.

We are here, living our lives, to create, not react.  Everyone, regardless of race, color, religion, age, sex - we’re all creating.  The truth is, we’re creating all the time.  The big question is, are you doing it consciously, or unconsciously?

Conscious creation is where we want our focus to be.  That means that we get clear on what we want (our goals), take focused action towards those goals, and stop thinking negative thoughts about why we can’t be, do or have what we want.

The alternative is to react to situations in our life.  We are unconsciously creating these unwanted situations by the negative thoughts we have.  By not focusing our attention on what we want, the law of attraction brings to us those negative things that we worry about.  Minimize having to react to situations and start focusing on the positive things in your life. You know, the things you’re grateful for.

Knowing now that you call the shots, make the choice right now to create what you truly want in your life.  Stop moping and take charge of your life!  Make it happen!  Everything you need is already inside of you.  Paint your own picture.

If we allow it, fear can stop us dead in our tracks.  Every successful person has experienced just as much fear as an unsuccesful person, the difference is that they have learned to overcome their fear.  They know their personal growth depends on it.  How do they do it?

1. Acknowledge your fear and face it anyway:

Successful people realize the fastest way to overcome their fear is to face it head on.  Whatever they are afraid of doing, they know that the sooner they do it, the sooner their fear will disappear.  The unsuccessful people allow their fear to torcher them by not attempting to overcome it.  They leave themselves in a position of constantly living in that fear because they don’t take the steps to move past it.  Successful people know that they are more powerful than any circumstances in their lives including their fear.

2. Live in the Moment: 

If you know there is a challenge coming up in your life, don’t let the thought of it consume you.  You will never hear a successful person say, “I don’t think I will be able to handle that.”  They know that when the time comes, they will be able to handle whatever is going on in their lives.  They don’t allow the fear of the future to halt their progress in the present.

3. Let the positive feelings that follow conquering your fears to motivate you: 

Think back to a time in your past when you faced a fear and overcame it.  Do you remember how powerful and invinsible you felt at that moment.  Successful people love to relive that feeling and use it to motivate them to conquer more of their fears.

The only difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful person is that the successful person is willing to do what the unsuccessful person isn’t.  They don’t allow their fear to stop them .  Do you?    

Just like an automobile engine needs to fire on all cylinders to run at peak performance, your life,  your business, your relationships and all aspects of your life need to be firing on all cylinders to run at peak perfomance.  Your life coach can be looked at as your Mechanic.  He or she knows the engine inside out, how to diagnose why the sputter is happening and what to tweak or concentrate on in order to get the cylinders firing in sequence again.

Let’s take a moment and look at business, or your job and what it takes to be successful at it.

Here are 5 common denominators for success, in business: (Discovered in the book “The Answer” by John Assaraf and Murray Smith)

– You must have a passion for what you do, an absolute burning desire for success

– You must become excellent at it

– Your belief structure must reflect absolutely no doubt that you can be the best

– You must know how to monetize it

– You must be willing to take daily action to accomplish it

None of these are more important than the others — all 5 must be in place.  Becoming a student of personal development, working with a life coach and exercising your development of them is imperative.  If the kind of success you want is for marginal results then you can probably run on 2 or 3 cylinders, but if it is exceptional results and success that you have that burning desire for then it is work out time.  Find a coach, mentor and life coach that will ensure you are exercising your capacity for improvement in all areas.  No different than if you were going to become a Marathon Runner and get your body ready.

Here are some things to watch out for and to be wary of:

– Don’t get stuck in the getting ready to get ready phase

– Concentrate on your strengths and give up trying to turn your weaknesses into a strength because it probably will never happen

– Remember that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly (at least until the cylinders are all firing in sequence)

Do you ever wonder why the Law of Attraction doesn’t work for you?  I know in the past that I certainly have.  Why do I get more bills when I want wealth?  Why do I encounter unhappy and angry people all the time?  Why do others get to travel to the exotic and exciting places I want to go.

It wasn’t until I understood that the Law of Attraction was working in my life (albeit in a negative way) that everything started to change for me.  You see, it was what I was focusing on that got me more of what I was focusing on.  Kind of a catch 22 scenario.  I focused on more bills, so got more bills - car broke down unexpectedly, kids needed to borrow money, Christmas snuck up on us again.   You know the story.

My life coach pointed out to me that as long as I focus on what I don’t want, I’ll always continue to get more of it.  She suggested to put my focus on what I want.  Very soon, coincidences weren’t coincidences - they were the Law of Attraction bringing those things that I wanted into my awareness.  These opportunities changed everything.  Let me give you a couple of examples:

I focused on financial abundance and within a week we received a $657.00 check in the mail from our mortgage company, refunding an overpayment of our prior year’s property taxes.  We also unexpectedly received a $5.41 check from our cellular service company from a class action suit we knew nothing about.  A small amount, but financial abundance nevertheless.  We received a $300 credit on our credit card for purchase bonuses for that year.

I focused on rebuilding a healthy lifestyle.  One of the things that I love to do is go for walks in the woods connected to our property.  I won’t do this by myself and I didn’t have a partner everyday.  The very next day, an old walking partner from over a decade ago approached me at a coffee shop.  It seems she had just moved into the area we now live and would love to start walking together again!  I also saw the very next day that our local gym is now offering step aerobics classes which I absolutely enjoy.

On list of 100 places to see, Italy was very near the top. On an upcoming conference that I already knew I was attending, the announcement was made that it would be held in Rome, Italy!  Yes, we travelled to Rome and saw almost all the places that we wanted to see.  Now I know we will return to Italy and spend some more time experiencing the places we didn’t manage to pack into that amazing vacation.

It’s just like when you’re thinking of buying a new car or truck.  All of the sudden you see that car/truck on the road in exactly the color you want.  It’s not that there are more of that car/truck on the road, you’re just now aware of them.  Focusing on what you want brings the people, places and things you want into your awareness.

Make a commitment to yourself to start putting your focus and energy on those things you truly want!
 

In a recent post we talked about getting to your real reasons or your ‘why’ for wanting what you want.  Now that you have gone through this exercise with each one of your goals, how strong is your why?  Is your ‘why’ strong enough to give you the drive you need to persevere when times are tough?  

In many cases this requires a desire which is bigger than ourselves.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve a goal for selfish reasons, after all it is your life.  You are much more likely to give up on a goal that is purely self-serving when it becomes difficult to achieve it.  It is so easy to say, ‘Oh well, I am OK without it’, if you are the only one being affected. 

We tend to want to serve others more so than ourselves, and therefore we can be quite content with what we have now.  This can also be due to a deservability issue, many times we don’t think we need anymore than we have now, which kills the motivation to achieve more.

Make your goals and your ‘why’ bigger than you.  This can be done by focusing on how we can give back to others.  If it is a specific amount of money you want, how will this money help your family?  How much will you be able to give back to your local community or your favorite charity?  

We are typically very giving by human nature.  We tend to care more for others than we do ourselves, so make your goals about the difference you can make in someone else’s life.  You will notice a greater drive and success than you achieve by simply focusing on what you have to gain.

When you have been wronged by someone in one way or another, it creates negative feelings inside of you.  You may be left feeling hurt, angry, frustrated, sad, or any combination of these.  So, how then would these feelings lead you to forgiveness?  The truth is they don’t. 

If we know the law of attraction, we know that like attracts like.  Bad negative feelings create more bad negative feelings.  It is therefore not realistic that these feelings that you are experiencing because you have been wronged in some way, will, all of a sudden, out of the blue, create a miraculous feeling of forgiveness inside of you.  Instead, these feelings will lead you the other way, to more intense negative feelings. 

You have to choose to forgive in-spite of those feelings.  This is a choice that you make because you recognize how bad you feel and realize that you don’t want to feel that way anymore.  Your feelings will then follow your decision.  Forgiveness brings with it relinquishment.  By making the choice to forgive, you free yourself up to let go of those horrible feelings and to feel good again.

Remember, forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself.  Choose to forgive and allow yourself to feel great again. 

One of the biggest considerations in achieving all that you want to achieve, actually being, doing and having all of your goals and aspirations is knowing why you want them.  Once you know why you can restructure your beliefs about them, no matter how big the goal or the desired outcome. 

Beliefs are astronomically stronger than desires.  You probably should read that again — Beliefs are astronomically stronger than desires!  Your why is directly proportional to your beliefs — the stronger the why the more you will work on ensuring that your beliefs will empower you to achieve.

As we all know our beliefs are learned, we are not born with them.  Our parents, society and the people within our circle of influence instilled them upon us.  As a result we can re-learn our old beliefs or we can learn new ones - that’s a fact.  Our beliefs have a large controlling influence on our sub-conscious mind, and our sub-conscious mind is responsible for 96 - 98% of our daily thoughts and activities.

Our brain has a filter — sort of like a noise de-limiter that you would put into a car stereo to eliminate the interference from the other electrical components.  The filter for our brain takes our thoughts and impulses that our senses pick up and deliver them to the appropriate parts of the brain.  That filter depends on our beliefs to know where most of these signals need to go and filters out the ones that do not fit within the structure.

This then stands to reason that even if we really want to earn a million dollars, but really do not believe that we will or can then we won’t.  We could have a million dollar idea hit our thought process and never act upon it because the filter in our brain checked the belief about being a millionaire, realized that we don’t believe in that so the filter discarded the thought entirely, putting it back into the universe for someone else to find.

Developing your why about earning a million dollars will assist you in developing and changing your belief about it.  A purpose, what you will do with the money, what you would purchase, who you would help and having an outcome bigger than you will allow you to believe that you can achieve.

If you’ve never heard of Rudyard Kipling’s timeless “If” poem, then you’re in for a real treat!  “If” provides an inspirational and motivational set of rules for living a fulfilled and integrity-based life, which is more relevant today than when Mr. Kipling wrote it.  You’ll find “If” to be a fitting blueprint for your own personal development. 

Enjoy!

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‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And - which is more - you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

This book is an incredible read.  It demonstrates the power of the mind and the success that can be created through operating with a positive mental attitude.  Each chapter is filled with stories of both people who have achieved great things by having a positive mental attitude, and those who have failed due to a negative mental attitude. 

The ‘Thoughts to Steer By’ section at the end of each chapter reviews the main principles discussed in the chapter and poses questions to the reader as to how to apply these principles to their own life.  This book provides both motivation and inspiration.  It can be truly life transformational if you choose to apply the principles taught.