Mi Hamba Blog

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
~Napoleon Hill

The Law of Attraction is so powerful that it can deliver literally everything we want in life.  It’s true!  If you can think it and believe it, you can absolutely achieve it.  So why don’t more people realize their dreams?  Simple - it’s expectation.

You see, many of us think about what we want, dream about what we want, but don’t actually believe it’s possible.  We expect that we’ll fail.  We expect to be disappointed yet again.  So guess what?  We’re right.

Expectation fuels motivation, excitement and success.  Would you work towards something if you believe you won’t get it?  What a colossal waste of time!  However, if you knew you’d be successful, wouldn’t you get excited and be motivated to work towards your goals?  Absolutely!

You have the choice and the power to control your thoughts.  Having that choice, doesn’t it make better sense to choose to believe in possibilities?  Doesn’t it make better sense to tell yourself and believe that you can have anything you want? Doesn’t it make sense to have faith and believe in yourself and this great Universe.  Given that you can hold only one thought at a time and negative thoughts are just taking up valuable space in your mind,  wouldn’t you choose to affirm what you want and believe it’s possible?

We now know that with consistent affirmations and visualizations, combined with the proper training, repetition and coaching, that anyone can achieve their goals and live their dreams.

Expect Success!

This is a poem I have always found to be a great illustration of personal growth, because it shows in a few very short lines the power each of us has to transform our lives just by taking responsibility for our choices.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
by Portia Nelson

I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V
I walk down another street.

There are those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; and those who don’t know what the heck happened.
~Unknown

What kind of person are you?  And why should it matter? Because your happiness and success in life will be determined by what kind of person you are.

Those who make things happen

These are the people that know what they want, have a clear vision of the outcome, and take consistent action to make it happen.  That doesn’t mean that they don’t feel fear.  They do - but they take action anyway.  That’s why these people always seem to get what they want.  Contrary to popular belief though, success isn’t handed to them; they work for it!  You know these people just by being in their presence.  It’s who they’ve become on the journey, not what they’ve achieved that makes them stand out in the crowd.

Those who watch things happen

This is where the majority of our population resides.  It’s easier to watch the “doers’ get things done than put ourselves out there and risk failing, being scrutinized, having people point out our misfortunes.  These people are just one small step from living their greatness.  If only they could dare to dream again and move past their fear.

Those who don’t know what the heck happened

Yes, believe it or not, the result of living as one who just watches things happen, ends up wondering what the heck happened.  At the end of your life (which you can’t predict), what will you be thinking about?  Regrets, regrets and more regrets.  What didn’t you dare to do?  What opportunities did you pass up because of your fear?  What life didn’t you live?

There’s good news here.  You have a choice.  You can choose to be the type of person you want to be.  It’s that simple.  I didn’t say easy - just simple.  It will take work but think about the rewards.  Choose to take that first step towards your dream.  You’ll be amazed at how much easier it becomes - step by step by step by step.  You’re creating a new habit that will replace the old habit of watching things happen from the sidelines.  Before you know it you’re living your dream and working on the next one.  Now doesn’t that sound like a happier way to live?!  You are now the person you wanted to be.
 

Every negative event contains within it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.
~Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich

Have you ever had anything bad happen to you?  If you said no, then you’re not from this planet.  We’ve all had bad things happen to us.  There’s both a message and a lesson in those situations.  It’s how we look at them, react to them, and how much we pay attention that often determines the course of our life from there.

Every bad thing that happens has the seed of something better.  It’s true!  How different would your life be if you carried this positive belief?!  How exciting would your life become if you viewed these “bad” occurrences as an opportunity to grow and change and succeed?

Consider this:  The officer that responds to the car accident you just got into becomes your husband.  You just lost your job unexpectedly and when you stop at a coffee shop on the way home, you start a conversation with someone in line who happens to be a recruiter who is currently looking for someone just like you.  Your sudden illness that has you down for a month becomes the catalyst to regaining a healthy lifestyle.

Look back at your life and think about the situations that seemed terrible at the time.  The ones you didn’t think you’d get through.  What good happened as a result of them?  I’m sure you’ll be able to pinpoint exactly what wonderful things turned up in your life.  Make a commitment to yourself to change the way you view “bad” things from now on.  I know that my life looks completely different since I’ve adopted this belief.

If we allow it, fear can stop us dead in our tracks.  Every successful person has experienced just as much fear as an unsuccesful person, the difference is that they have learned to overcome their fear.  They know their personal growth depends on it.  How do they do it?

1. Acknowledge your fear and face it anyway:

Successful people realize the fastest way to overcome their fear is to face it head on.  Whatever they are afraid of doing, they know that the sooner they do it, the sooner their fear will disappear.  The unsuccessful people allow their fear to torcher them by not attempting to overcome it.  They leave themselves in a position of constantly living in that fear because they don’t take the steps to move past it.  Successful people know that they are more powerful than any circumstances in their lives including their fear.

2. Live in the Moment: 

If you know there is a challenge coming up in your life, don’t let the thought of it consume you.  You will never hear a successful person say, “I don’t think I will be able to handle that.”  They know that when the time comes, they will be able to handle whatever is going on in their lives.  They don’t allow the fear of the future to halt their progress in the present.

3. Let the positive feelings that follow conquering your fears to motivate you: 

Think back to a time in your past when you faced a fear and overcame it.  Do you remember how powerful and invinsible you felt at that moment.  Successful people love to relive that feeling and use it to motivate them to conquer more of their fears.

The only difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful person is that the successful person is willing to do what the unsuccessful person isn’t.  They don’t allow their fear to stop them .  Do you?    

Just like an automobile engine needs to fire on all cylinders to run at peak performance, your life,  your business, your relationships and all aspects of your life need to be firing on all cylinders to run at peak perfomance.  Your life coach can be looked at as your Mechanic.  He or she knows the engine inside out, how to diagnose why the sputter is happening and what to tweak or concentrate on in order to get the cylinders firing in sequence again.

Let’s take a moment and look at business, or your job and what it takes to be successful at it.

Here are 5 common denominators for success, in business: (Discovered in the book “The Answer” by John Assaraf and Murray Smith)

– You must have a passion for what you do, an absolute burning desire for success

– You must become excellent at it

– Your belief structure must reflect absolutely no doubt that you can be the best

– You must know how to monetize it

– You must be willing to take daily action to accomplish it

None of these are more important than the others — all 5 must be in place.  Becoming a student of personal development, working with a life coach and exercising your development of them is imperative.  If the kind of success you want is for marginal results then you can probably run on 2 or 3 cylinders, but if it is exceptional results and success that you have that burning desire for then it is work out time.  Find a coach, mentor and life coach that will ensure you are exercising your capacity for improvement in all areas.  No different than if you were going to become a Marathon Runner and get your body ready.

Here are some things to watch out for and to be wary of:

– Don’t get stuck in the getting ready to get ready phase

– Concentrate on your strengths and give up trying to turn your weaknesses into a strength because it probably will never happen

– Remember that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly (at least until the cylinders are all firing in sequence)

In a recent post we talked about getting to your real reasons or your ‘why’ for wanting what you want.  Now that you have gone through this exercise with each one of your goals, how strong is your why?  Is your ‘why’ strong enough to give you the drive you need to persevere when times are tough?  

In many cases this requires a desire which is bigger than ourselves.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve a goal for selfish reasons, after all it is your life.  You are much more likely to give up on a goal that is purely self-serving when it becomes difficult to achieve it.  It is so easy to say, ‘Oh well, I am OK without it’, if you are the only one being affected. 

We tend to want to serve others more so than ourselves, and therefore we can be quite content with what we have now.  This can also be due to a deservability issue, many times we don’t think we need anymore than we have now, which kills the motivation to achieve more.

Make your goals and your ‘why’ bigger than you.  This can be done by focusing on how we can give back to others.  If it is a specific amount of money you want, how will this money help your family?  How much will you be able to give back to your local community or your favorite charity?  

We are typically very giving by human nature.  We tend to care more for others than we do ourselves, so make your goals about the difference you can make in someone else’s life.  You will notice a greater drive and success than you achieve by simply focusing on what you have to gain.

Golf — Now there is a way to spend a couple of hours excercising your ability to pay attention to and control  your feelings.  Especially the ones that produce those nasty limiting beliefs we keep writing about.

I am not a golfer — not by even a stretch of anybody’s imagination.  As a matter of fact I usually call it “Swish — Darn — Drag Your Bag”.  On Sunday however, I was invited for a round of golf by a good friend that I used to work with and had been missing for a while now.  He is a good golfer, retired and when we worked together was really a surrogate Father for me.  You know what I mean I hope, he was someone I could depend on for advice in life situations and he never hesitated to give it — just like Dad.

When we got to the golf course it was really busy and because it was just the 2 of us, we were asked to be accompanied by another couple of people.  Wonderful people and again pretty good golfers.  Enter my first Limiting Feeling of the day:ought:

I can’t golf with these people — I will just delay and hold them up — which I was able to relpace with:

Even though I am unable to golf as well, I am so grateful that they will be able to give me some great tips and that they are so understanding.

What is amazing is that they were very understanding and they did offer some great tips.  As a matter of fact for every ball I hit over the fence they found 2 for me as they assisted me in looking for mine.  That in itself empowered me to develop an allowing statement of:

Many people are hitting golf balls out of bounds, just like me!

I wasn’t the only one hitting them over the fence and out of bounds and I knew it because I had the proof — there were a ton of lost balls in those woods.

As you can imagine, there were a ton and I mean a ton of limiting beliefs and feelings about my golf game as I progressed through the day.  Because of my experience with being a student of personal development, I was able to recognize them and re-phrase them as a positive statement instead of a negative statement.

To the unseasoned person of Personal Development the first 9 holes were disastrous and a non-believer would think — there I told you — that stuff doesn’t work.  The second 9 holes however proved my knowingness that controlling your feelings and your limiting beliefs is absolutely transformational.  All of a sudden I was hitting my drives straight, or at least straighter, I wasn’t losing my ball anymore and I was able to at least keep up.  I actually shaved over 10 strokes from the front nine — now that felt good!

Had I not been able to control my feelings I would have been an emotional wreck by the 6th or 7th hole and not enjoyed a single minute of the game.  The folks I golfed with all mentioned what a great attitude I had about being so bad at the game.  I think that was a compliment.

Success requires effort and real, absolute success requires focused energy.  Most of the time, for many many people, focused energy is very difficult because of the level of fear involved.

The Fear of failure, the Fear of success, the Fear of rejection, the Fear of not knowing how, the Fear of feeling like it just can’t happen for you are only some of the fears we hear about and experience on a daily basis. 

The most common definition of Fear that we have heard, most people define it as “False Evidence Appearing Real”.  What I have found is that anything that lies outside of your comfort zone is usually considered to be false evidence that appears real.  Therefore it stands to reason that your comfort zone is a mirror image of your success zone right?  Think about that — your comfort zone is a mirror image of your success zone.

How about we take the definition and both consciously and subconsciously change it to Focused Energy Achieves Results.  Now this is not to suggest that we go blindly forward without performing due diligence into the possible tools that we may use to expand our comfort zone, just to perform the due diligence. 

Think again about your comfort zone being a mirror image of your success zone.  Change that around and look at it like this:  Your success zone is a mirror image of your comfort zone.

Do what it takes to expand your comfort zone.  A life coach has the ability to direct you in the expansion.

My Dad was a dreamer.  I say was because I no longer have the gift of his influence in my world.  It’s been 6 years since he moved onto whatever comes next after this human experience.   Dad gave me permission to dream big, to believe that anything is possible if I just put my mind to it. So what went so terribly wrong?  Outside influences - my peer environment of “who do you think you are”, and “that will never happen”, and “do you think you’re better than me”.  I had big dreams that seem to have faded with the years.  Can you relate? 

Something amazing came into my life after I woke up and realized that I just wasn’t going to live that way anymore.  Do you know about the Law of Attraction?  That’s okay because I didn’t either at one time.  I now know that it had been working in my life in a negative way, because now I’m experiencing it as a miracle.   Once I made that declaration to live my life my way and to be happy and fulfilled, the people and resources I needed appeared in my life as if they were crazy coincidences.  One of those people was my life coach.

Personal coaching sounded pretty foreign to me at one time.  “What exactly is it and what could it possibly do for me?” was my first skeptical thought.  My coach helped me focus on what I wanted, set achievable goals, get organized and prioritize my endless “to do list” (don’t we all have those?!) and rediscover what I’m passionate about.  Living a happy life is so important to me now that helping other people find that for themselves is what drives me these days.  It feels so good to be living my dream - it’s not the one from my childhood but it’s evolved and even better!  What’s your dream?  Is it the same from childhood or has it grown into something different?