Mi Hamba Blog

I will honor my debts.

We live in a culture that promotes living on credit, racking up debt, and then wondering what went wrong when we can’t meet our financial obligations. Many don’t. When’s the last time you turned on the TV without seeing a commercial promising debt relief or financial freedom?

Our culture is accustomed to wanting it now - getting it now - suffer the consequences later. The problem with this thinking is that not only does it hurt everyone (it affects our economy) but we repeat the pattern over and over again. Also consider what we’re teaching our children.

Not paying our debts will keep us awake at night. Honoring our debts, taking responsibility for our financial life, may feel painful at first, but will have us sleeping peacefully and feeling good about our choices.

If there’s accumulating debt in your life, get the help you need to design a plan to get out of debt. Then, work on changing your beliefs about money - they’re likely contributors to your current financial situation. Finally, learn the money earning and building strategies that will have you keeping more of your wealth and spending responsibly. You have the power to create your own life.

There is no running out on debt while maintaining honor and respect. A winner will always honor his debts.

I will show respect for others.

We teach our children to respect their elders - parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles, teachers, religious leaders and other adults. In that same way, we as adults need to extend respect to others, both younger and older than us.

Respect also includes common courtesy in our every day lives; holding the door open for the person following you - saying “please” and “thank you” - listening attentively while someone is talking to you and not checking email, texting or watching everyone else in the room but the person talking - refraining from interrupting - turning your cell phone off in the doctor’s office and movie theater - leaving a respectful “personal space” distance from the person in line in front of you …

Respect is much easier received when it is given - and that isn’t age biased. I am certain that when we show our children and youth respect, it is much easier for them to give it in return. Be the example.

I will relate to others with honesty.

All relationships are built on trust - personal, intimate and business relationships. The foundation of trust is honesty.

Honesty is so under-rated. Some would justify lies by calling them “stretching the truth” or “little white lies” or “harmless”. The problem with that thinking is there is no such thing as “just 1 potato chip”. One small little white lie leads to more little lies and stretching of the truth until those little lies graduate to bigger and bolder lies.

To say that dishonesty doesn’t hurt is a lie in itself; it hurts the giver as well as the receiver. It’s also disrespectful. Who appreciates being lied to?

Sometimes we avoid telling the truth because we think it will hurt someone. Ultimately the lie will hurt the person - or it will hurt you. It’s the Law of Cause and Effect.

Honesty is:
- Being honest with yourself and others
- Expressing your point of view with respect for others opinions and points of view
- Never justifying or excusing a lie by downplaying it
- Accepting only the truth from others

Honesty may feel like the harder road, but it’s the truest, and ultimately the most rewarding. Most people will respect you for telling the truth and feel respected for your honesty. Strength of character is built on the foundation of honesty and respect. So is every relationship you nurture.

I will face my mistakes and grow from them.

We are a culture that has developed a fear of making mistakes. I remember when I was younger, my Dad would often tell me not to be afraid of making mistakes - it’s how we learn. It’s only really a mistake when we make the same one twice!

How wonderful it was to grow up with a belief system that supported learning and growing.

Let’s face it - we all make mistakes. It’s part of our learning process. We learn much quicker and easier when we try something and the outcome isn’t what we expected … or wanted. We don’t often learn from other people’s mistakes, although that would make life much easier.

When we get an outcome we don’t want, it’s a great opportunity for personal growth:

- What went wrong?
- What could we have done better?
- Were there warning signs I ignored?
- How can I do better next time?

The key point is, when we reflect (not dwell) on our mistakes, we can make shifts in our thinking and behavior that will bring us better results. Often we can ward off major disasters by being aware of the intuitions that tell us we’re on the wrong path.

Two simple principles: Admit our mistakes. Learn and grow from them.

I will be personally accountable.

There is a Universal Principle - We are all responsible for our own lives!

There’s tremendous freedom in knowing (and living) this principle:

- We can create our lives the way we want
- We can change what we don’t like
- We’re not responsible for other people’s happiness and success
- We can learn from our mistakes and move onto higher levels of personal growth

Being personally accountable means that we take responsibility for our own happiness, success, wealth, relationships and personal fulfillment. We wholly take the blame for our poor choices AND receive the full credit for that which we get right.

Personal accountability is; meaning what we say and saying what we mean; following through on what we say we will do; never being afraid to admit that we’re wrong; having the courage to make the wrongs right; taking a stand when it’s important to us; taking time to do the small things that make a big difference.

We are all responsible for our own lives! It was worth repeating.

I will conduct my life with excellence.

What is excellence? It’s not simply the achievements in your life, the mile-markers or the toys you collect along the way.
It’s being the best you can be; growing into and being the person you were meant to be, living the life of purpose you were meant to live.

It’s always doing the best you can do; through the tough and the easy times … going that extra mile and not taking “shortcuts” that you know won’t yield you the best results.

It’s being a person of integrity; even when (and especially when) no one is watching … because someone is always watching; even when it’s only you.

It’s doing the right thing; even when the right thing is the hard thing to do … and sometimes unpopular.

It’s lifting others up; choosing kind words and actions to support others rather than put a lid on them

It’s respecting others; recognizing that we’re all doing the best we can at any given moment … respecting that we all live in our own realities based on our different beliefs and points of view … understanding that we’re all connected and when we hurt someone, we hurt ourselves and we love someone, we love ourselves.

Commit to living your best life and always do and be your best. Finish what you start - never quit and never give up.

I will treat others as I would treat myself.

Ahhh…the Golden Rule. We all know it, but do we all practice it?

How about taking it one step further and saying “I will treat others and myself as I would like to be treated.”

This actually has two parts:

- How we treat ourselves
- How we treat others

How we treat ourselves:

How often do we treat ourselves worse than we deserve - worse than we would treat our friends? It seems that we’re our own worst critics and so very, very hard on ourselves. Let’s just give us a break and be our best friend, first and foremost. Let’s be more accepting, more loving, and more forgiving of who we are, how we look, what we do, and how we do it. This will go a long way to improving our self-esteem and self-worth. Let’s treat ourselves as we’d like to be treated.

How we treat others:

We all want and like to be treated well by others. However, many don’t follow this mantra. Stand out from the crowd and treat everyone with the dignity and respect they deserve. You’ll be sought out by others as a person of integrity and character, gathering a community of people that in turn treat you well with dignity and respect.

So the new mantra is, “I will treat others and myself as I would like to be treated.”

When I set a goal, I will work to achieve it.

Setting a goal is actually the first step to achieving anything we want in life. If we just dream about what we want, we’ll never move towards achieving our life long dreams. Something magical happens when we write down our goals. We begin to actually believe and see our dreams becoming a reality.

Unfortunately, most of us (a whopping 90% of us) don’t write down our goals. Maybe because we’re never taught, or maybe because we just can’t be bothered. Either way, if we want what we want bad enough, it’s worth setting a goal to achieve it. Become part of the 10% that get what they want in life.

So you set a goal. What next?

1. Commit to reviewing your goal every morning and every night

 

This embeds your goal in your subconscious mind so that it will go to work on ideas, solutions and move you in the direction of your dreams - especially while you sleep.

 

2. Take steady and consistent action towards your goal

 

Starting and stopping is the worst thing you can do while reaching your goals. Keep that momentum going and focus on doing something every day (however small) towards reaching your goal.

 

3. Push through personal barriers that in the past have prevented you from reaching your goal

 

We often have self-imposed barriers and limiting beliefs that prevent us from reaching our goals. Work through them using positive reinforcing affirmations or use the power of a personal life coach. This is the single biggest reason people don’t reach their goals. Don’t take this for granted - take action.

 

4. NEVER take NO for an answer - there’s always a way, always a solution

 

Here’s where it’s important that you want what you want bad enough. If you don’t, you’ll tuck and run at the first sign of adversity - and you will have adversity. This is really just a test - where you can prove you really want this. There IS always a solution - if you approach all adversity and obstacles on your path to success as an opportunity to learn and grow, your mind will work on more solutions and options rather than more adversity and obstacles.

Setting goals and making a commitment to their achievement is another example of keeping the promises we make to ourselves. Another breeding ground for healthy self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth.

I came across these “Ten Affirmations of Integrity” but there was no mention of the author (otherwise, he/she certainly would be credited for them).

As I read these affirmations, I was struck by how simple, yet powerful they are.

If you review your affirmations daily, you’ll want to add these to your practice. If you don’t do affirmations, you may want to consider starting. By internalizing these affirmations, you will find yourself living in integrity and attracting the abundance you want in your life.

We’ll explore 1 affirmation a day over the next 10 days…

The affirmation, what it means, what it represents, and most importantly, what it means to You!

When I make a promise, I will keep that promise.

How many times has someone made a promise to you that they haven’t kept - never having had the intention of keeping it in the first place? Somehow, you sensed it, didn’t you? And how did that make you feel about the person? Do you expect the promise to be broken next time that person makes a promise to you?

What about the promises that you make to yourself? Do you keep those? These are actually the most important promises to keep. They’ll keep you in integrity to yourself. When we break the promises me make to ourselves (I’ll start exercising tomorrow, I’ll write 200 words a day, I’ll spend more time with my family….) we lower our self-esteem. Eventually, we don’t feel very good about ourselves and have a low self-worth.

Be the person that keeps promises to others, and most importantly to yourself. You’ll feel good about yourself, others will feel good about you and know that they can trust your word.

Have you heard of the Ripple Effect? Like a drop of water that ripples out from the center, our words and actions have an effect on others, and subsequently the effect that those people have on the people they come into contact with, and subsequently the effect that those people …. you get the picture.

Here’s what I mean …

Let’s say that you’re driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic. You’re late for work because you slept in a little. Someone wants in your lane of traffic … they’re signaling to get in and cars just keep going by, not letting the driver in. The driver makes eye contact with you - you smile and wave them in front of you. The driver smiles back, waves and gestures a “thank you”.

That has a ripple effect. This makes you feel pretty good that you helped someone - even in a very small way. Your kindness also effects the mood of the driver and will ultimately effect how that person interacts with others throughout the day. Maybe they remember your kindness when they stop for coffee and have a pleasant conversation with the barista. Or maybe they go out of their way to be friendly to a usually gruff co-worker, thus effecting their day. That’s the ripple effect.

Let’s look at the flipside … same scenario - you’re in bumper-to-bumper traffic and you’re late for work. The same driver is signaling to get into your lane of traffic. You think, “No way are they getting in front of ME!” You, like the other drivers, deliberately leave no room for the driver to ease into your lane. Maybe you even make a rude gesture as you go by.

This too has a ripple effect. The driver will remember the stressful drive into work and the person who “flipped them off”. This will effect his mood throughout the day and how he interacts with others. Maybe he stops for coffee and instead of having a pleasant conversation with the barista, he complains that his coffee isn’t the way he asked for it. Maybe he even goes out of his way to be gruff with his gruff co-worker, looking for some way to release his pent up frustration from his commute.

So you see, the things we say and the things we do absolutely have an effect on those we come into contact with. Something as simple as a smile can set someone on a path to spreading that same kindness to others. And also, something as simple as a harsh word or tone can also set someone on a path to spreading more harshness.

The question becomes, “How can I create a positive ripple today?”