Mi Hamba Blog

Do you always blame other people when things go wrong?  It seems to be the automatic thing to do.  We are programmed to see others mistakes as opposed to our own. 

But what is really happening when we blame others all the time?

 First, we are opening ourselves up to be blamed by others for their problems.  If you just got passed up for yet another promotion, you may want to blame the boss.  What happens when one day you are the boss?  Will you accept the blame from your employees for their lack of results?  If you are always blaming others for your problems, you will have to accept the blame from them for their problems. 

Second, if you are always placing the blame on other people, you are probably not very popular.  You may have even lost a friend or two because of arguments over whose fault it is.  Wouldn’t you be better served to take your share of the responsibility and work together to fix the problem?

Last but definitely not least, if you are always blaming everyone else,  you are giving up your control.  If someone else is creating your problems, then they are the only ones who can fix your problems.  Wouldn’t it be better if you had that power yourself?  The sooner you can acknowledge that you had a part in creating the mess, the sooner you can begin to fix it.

Although it may seem easier at the time to blame someone else for your problems, you are better off in the long run if you face up to them yourself.  Keep your integrity, keep your friends, keep your power and take your responsibility!

We all have a set point in our minds which keeps us within our normal range or our comfort zone.  If you make a change in your life which takes you out of that comfort zone, this will send a signal out to your nervous system which your brain interprets as potential danger.  It will then prompt you to make the course corrections necessary to return you to your normal state. 

This works in a very similar way to the thermostat in your home, you set the temperature to whatever you want.  The heat or air conditioning will come on as needed to keep the temperature at the set point. 

So, how then do you change your temperature, or rather change your comfort zone? 

You can send messages to your subconscious mind to change your set point.  This is done by visualizing with the use of emotions what you want your new reality to be.  Your subconscious mind cannot decipher between reality and an imagined reality. 

With consistent and persistent daily visualizations, you will soon have a new set point/comfort zone which will move you closer to achieving your goals.

When faced with adversity in your life, you may find that it causes you to change your focus.  It may be difficult to keep your committments during your time of struggle.  You may even find that you get sidetracked from your goals.

Sometimes events in your life that are difficult require extra attention at least temporarily, but that doesn’t mean you have to completely stop all progress that you are making in reaching your goals.  A little action is better than no action.  If you have to cut the time spent on goal achievement drastically for a short time, it is still better than giving up on your goals altogether.

 Give yourself the time you need to get your life back on track.  If you need a couple of days off for a personal development boost, take them.  The important thing here is to keep focused on your goals as you work through your adversity.  Know that you will be back on track in full swing as soon as you are able.

We have no way of knowing what life will bring our way.  We do have the ability, though, to keep clear on where we are headed in spite of our current circumstances.  If you want to be successful in reaching your goals, do not allow your troubles to continually change the course you are on.

What did you do wrong?  That may be the first step in trying to overcome adversity in your life.  It is so much easier to blame outside circumstances, situations, and other people for our troubles, after-all, we certainly wouldn’t have done this to ourselves. 

The trouble with blaming everything else is that you did play a part in creating where you are right now.  You are responsible for you past, your thoughts, your emotions and therefore the results in you life.  Until you take responsibility you cannot begin to move past the adversity and fix your problems.

By giving away the blame, you are giving away the power over your own life.  Until you start to take responsibility you will always be the victim of your results.  You can free yourself by acknowledging your part in creating the circumstances in your life. 

Now you can begin to focus on how to go about moving forward in a positive direction.  After-all, you created this mess, so you can clean it up.

Many of us use a journal as a diary to record the events of each day.  This is great because as they say, a life worth living is a life worth writing about. 

Have you ever thought about writing in your journal in the morning about what is going to happen that day?  I am not suggesting that you should be psychic and be able to predict the future, but I am suggesting that you should know what you want to happen that day. 

You see we are all manifesters of our lives.  We create our own destinies.  Why not name and claim what you want.  By getting up each morning and writing about your goals and plans for the day, you are starting your day with focus and clarity.  You are also telling the universe exactly what you want, and allowing the law of attraction to go to work to bring it to you.

If you find yourself getting off track or losing focus during the day, you can read your entry from the morning and get re-focused on your goals.  At the end of the day once you have accomplished what you set out to do for the day, you can give yourself a deserving pat on the back.  If you did not reach your goals for the day, you can go back and figure out why.  What went wrong, could you have done something differently?  Learn from the experience, learn from your mistakes.

When you wake up tomorrow, decide what you want to accomplish during the day.  Take five minutes aside during your morning routine to write out your goals for the day, then go about your day and reach them.

Every negative event contains within it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.
~Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich

Have you ever had anything bad happen to you?  If you said no, then you’re not from this planet.  We’ve all had bad things happen to us.  There’s both a message and a lesson in those situations.  It’s how we look at them, react to them, and how much we pay attention that often determines the course of our life from there.

Every bad thing that happens has the seed of something better.  It’s true!  How different would your life be if you carried this positive belief?!  How exciting would your life become if you viewed these “bad” occurrences as an opportunity to grow and change and succeed?

Consider this:  The officer that responds to the car accident you just got into becomes your husband.  You just lost your job unexpectedly and when you stop at a coffee shop on the way home, you start a conversation with someone in line who happens to be a recruiter who is currently looking for someone just like you.  Your sudden illness that has you down for a month becomes the catalyst to regaining a healthy lifestyle.

Look back at your life and think about the situations that seemed terrible at the time.  The ones you didn’t think you’d get through.  What good happened as a result of them?  I’m sure you’ll be able to pinpoint exactly what wonderful things turned up in your life.  Make a commitment to yourself to change the way you view “bad” things from now on.  I know that my life looks completely different since I’ve adopted this belief.

There is a lot of talk these days about being in a state of Gratitude.  It seems to have become fashionable to say — I am so grateful for this or that. 

I have been challenging myself lately to really stay tuned into my feelings of gratitude and what I have realized is that it is extremely easy to say I am grateful, but it is a little more difficult to truly feel grateful.

For example, how can I be grateful that I have a credit card to pay for my lunch with a friend, and then be quite upset when the credit card company requests a security check?  or How can I be grateful that I live in a free society with Law Enforcement and the Military to keep me safe and then get upset when I get pulled over for not having my seat belt on, or to be delayed through a security check?

What I have discovered is that there is another Universal Law that empowers me to be able to keep my gratitude in place, most if not all of the time.  The beautiful thing is that it is proven that as long as you are in a state of gratitude, more great things will be attracted back to you with the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Polarity is, for lack of a better term, the Law of Opposites.  In “layman’s” terms that simply means that for every situation, there is an opposite situation or result.  So let’s look at the 2 examples I used before:

I could be upset at the fact that I am being delayed, all be it no more than 2 minutes, or I could take a second and think about the opposite result of that feeling which allows me to affirm:

I am so happy and grateful that my credit card company thinks enough of me to watch over my personal security.

In the case of being pulled over because I did not have my seat belt on, I could be upset at the situation, the fact that I am in a hurry, I could think that this should be my choice and whose business is it of the Police for me to wear that stupid thing anyway, or I could take a moment and think about the opposite result of that feeling which allows me to affirm:

I am so happy and grateful that there is an abundance of Law Enforcement to enforce the laws and keep our society safe and secure.

These are just a couple of “made up” examples so as you go through your day, keep an eye on your negative feelings in the various situations of your life and apply the Law of Polarity to them – I assure you that your ability to turn the negative into a feeling of gratitude will become a “no-brainer”.

I didn’t expect to wake up this morning and have an obstacle in my path, but I did.  I didn’t expect to be taken out of the great feeling I’ve been having, into one of fear, concern and anxiousness, but I did.  What I did expect was to get up, go for a walk with my dogs and husband, and start my day the way I like to.  After all, I had appointments to get to, tasks to be completed and a dinner to get ready ,so starting my day off right was important.

What did happen?  Chloey and Max (our bullmastiffs) didn’t respond when I said the magic words, “ride” and “walk”.  In fact, after several calls from my bedroom window, there wasn’t even movement in their doghouse.  Just as I was about to go investigate their laziness, Chloey comes around the side of the house.  My first thought was, how did you get there? (They’re usually in our lower field.)  My second thought was, how did you get the dandelion fluff on your face.  My third thought sent me into a panic of concern and fear - those are porcupine quills!!

Needless to say my whole vibration (mood) shifted.  What started as a day of focused intent, fun and excitement quickly turned into one of fear, concern and WHY?  I point this out because we all have distractions in our lives.  We all have things happen that take us off course.  It’s how we think and believe, react and respond that will affect the outcome.  Not only of the moment, but the rest of the day.

I did react to the situation - Chloey and Max are no worse for wear because of it.  Over the next couple hours, 3 things went wrong….then I realized that I was focusing on the negative feeling of the morning.  I immediately shifted my awareness to one of gratefulness (that the dogs are well), appreciation (of the wonderful life I live, doing what I love) and love (for my friends and family).

This was a great reminder to me of how powerful the law of attraction is.  I could have let this ruin my whole day, take me off course from my goals or stop me in my tracks.  What I’ve learned is that we can choose what we think and feel.  We can choose how we react.  We can choose to refocus on what we want and not the things that we don’t want. 

This wasn’t an overnight process, but it really is that simple.  Replacing old limiting habits and thoughts with new empowering ones is a process.  For some it’s easy, for other’s we make it harder than it has to be.  What’s important is that we’re conscious of what we’re thinking and take action to change our thinking when it doesn’t serve us.

Many times we tend to allow the “things” that happen in our life be the excuse we have for not following our dreams.  By focusing on my gratitude  (the most powerful vibration in the Universe), I was able to return to my day with the usual excitement and love of life.

How do you react to life’s bombardment of daily stressful situations?  Are you quick tempered and do you easily fly off the handle, or do you remain calm, cool, and collected?

I have battled with a quick temper since I was a child, it has taken me a long time to learn how to control my temper by raising my self-awareness.  If someone cut me off on the road in the past, my immediate reaction was to get upset and give them the finger.  If I spilt my morning coffee all over my shirt, I would get upset and allow it to ruin the rest of my day. 

Once I developed an understanding of the law of attraction, I realized I was attracting more situations in my life which created those negative, angry outbursts.  It was time for some attitude adjustments.

One of these adjustments came with learning how to be more empathetic.  Once I was able to put myself in the shoes of the guy who just cut me off, I was able to stop overreacting to what he did.  I realized maybe he isn’t really a jerk, but instead he is late for an appointment, or maybe he simply miscalculated how fast I was going.  By putting myself in the other person’s shoes, it allowed me to be less reactive and more understanding.

Another big adjustment I made was learning how to roll with the punches.  Let’s face it, bad stuff happens to all of us, regardless of how we react to it.  I became a lot more adaptable to life’s stresses once I viewed them as a normal part of my life as apposed to a big traumatic event. 

Bad things are going to happen to us and people are going to do things to potentially upset us.  Learning how to remain calm in spite of these situations frees us to remain in a more positive and supportive mindset.

This is a question that, when answered honestly, will let you know whether life coaching and becoming a student of personal development is for you.  This all equates to your mindset and the ability to really apply the principles of Personal Development to you. 

So what is Mindset?

Mindset is defined as a set of beliefs that affect somebody’s attitude, their way of thinking which determines their behavior and outlook.

So where do our beliefs come from?  We are not born with them, we attain them as Life Happens.  Our beliefs are instilled upon us by our parents, society, our circle of influence and the Media.  Here are some of the Limiting beliefs that come up the most when I am presenting the Law of Attraction either live or on a teleseminar:

Money is hard to come by

The rich are all greedy

I don’t deserve that

I will have to work really hard

I am not smart enough to do that and

I cannot afford that

Realizing of course that these are all learned beliefs we can also realize that we can un-learn them and replace them with postive beliefs instead.  The simplest way to do that is to become a student of Personal Development and to use the services of a Life Coach.

Remember the old saying of Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — either way you are right.  This is a very true saying and proves that if you choose to believe then you will be choosing to achieve.  Change your limiting beliefs through studying Personal Development and the use of a Life Coach.  The results will be astonishing for you.  After all Personal Development is simply a process:  A process of causing yourself to change for the better, become stronger, more impressive and successful in all aspects.