Mi Hamba Blog

Just like an automobile engine needs to fire on all cylinders to run at peak performance, your life,  your business, your relationships and all aspects of your life need to be firing on all cylinders to run at peak perfomance.  Your life coach can be looked at as your Mechanic.  He or she knows the engine inside out, how to diagnose why the sputter is happening and what to tweak or concentrate on in order to get the cylinders firing in sequence again.

Let’s take a moment and look at business, or your job and what it takes to be successful at it.

Here are 5 common denominators for success, in business: (Discovered in the book “The Answer” by John Assaraf and Murray Smith)

– You must have a passion for what you do, an absolute burning desire for success

– You must become excellent at it

– Your belief structure must reflect absolutely no doubt that you can be the best

– You must know how to monetize it

– You must be willing to take daily action to accomplish it

None of these are more important than the others — all 5 must be in place.  Becoming a student of personal development, working with a life coach and exercising your development of them is imperative.  If the kind of success you want is for marginal results then you can probably run on 2 or 3 cylinders, but if it is exceptional results and success that you have that burning desire for then it is work out time.  Find a coach, mentor and life coach that will ensure you are exercising your capacity for improvement in all areas.  No different than if you were going to become a Marathon Runner and get your body ready.

Here are some things to watch out for and to be wary of:

– Don’t get stuck in the getting ready to get ready phase

– Concentrate on your strengths and give up trying to turn your weaknesses into a strength because it probably will never happen

– Remember that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly (at least until the cylinders are all firing in sequence)

Do you ever wonder why the Law of Attraction doesn’t work for you?  I know in the past that I certainly have.  Why do I get more bills when I want wealth?  Why do I encounter unhappy and angry people all the time?  Why do others get to travel to the exotic and exciting places I want to go.

It wasn’t until I understood that the Law of Attraction was working in my life (albeit in a negative way) that everything started to change for me.  You see, it was what I was focusing on that got me more of what I was focusing on.  Kind of a catch 22 scenario.  I focused on more bills, so got more bills - car broke down unexpectedly, kids needed to borrow money, Christmas snuck up on us again.   You know the story.

My life coach pointed out to me that as long as I focus on what I don’t want, I’ll always continue to get more of it.  She suggested to put my focus on what I want.  Very soon, coincidences weren’t coincidences - they were the Law of Attraction bringing those things that I wanted into my awareness.  These opportunities changed everything.  Let me give you a couple of examples:

I focused on financial abundance and within a week we received a $657.00 check in the mail from our mortgage company, refunding an overpayment of our prior year’s property taxes.  We also unexpectedly received a $5.41 check from our cellular service company from a class action suit we knew nothing about.  A small amount, but financial abundance nevertheless.  We received a $300 credit on our credit card for purchase bonuses for that year.

I focused on rebuilding a healthy lifestyle.  One of the things that I love to do is go for walks in the woods connected to our property.  I won’t do this by myself and I didn’t have a partner everyday.  The very next day, an old walking partner from over a decade ago approached me at a coffee shop.  It seems she had just moved into the area we now live and would love to start walking together again!  I also saw the very next day that our local gym is now offering step aerobics classes which I absolutely enjoy.

On list of 100 places to see, Italy was very near the top. On an upcoming conference that I already knew I was attending, the announcement was made that it would be held in Rome, Italy!  Yes, we travelled to Rome and saw almost all the places that we wanted to see.  Now I know we will return to Italy and spend some more time experiencing the places we didn’t manage to pack into that amazing vacation.

It’s just like when you’re thinking of buying a new car or truck.  All of the sudden you see that car/truck on the road in exactly the color you want.  It’s not that there are more of that car/truck on the road, you’re just now aware of them.  Focusing on what you want brings the people, places and things you want into your awareness.

Make a commitment to yourself to start putting your focus and energy on those things you truly want!
 

In a recent post we talked about getting to your real reasons or your ‘why’ for wanting what you want.  Now that you have gone through this exercise with each one of your goals, how strong is your why?  Is your ‘why’ strong enough to give you the drive you need to persevere when times are tough?  

In many cases this requires a desire which is bigger than ourselves.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve a goal for selfish reasons, after all it is your life.  You are much more likely to give up on a goal that is purely self-serving when it becomes difficult to achieve it.  It is so easy to say, ‘Oh well, I am OK without it’, if you are the only one being affected. 

We tend to want to serve others more so than ourselves, and therefore we can be quite content with what we have now.  This can also be due to a deservability issue, many times we don’t think we need anymore than we have now, which kills the motivation to achieve more.

Make your goals and your ‘why’ bigger than you.  This can be done by focusing on how we can give back to others.  If it is a specific amount of money you want, how will this money help your family?  How much will you be able to give back to your local community or your favorite charity?  

We are typically very giving by human nature.  We tend to care more for others than we do ourselves, so make your goals about the difference you can make in someone else’s life.  You will notice a greater drive and success than you achieve by simply focusing on what you have to gain.

When you have been wronged by someone in one way or another, it creates negative feelings inside of you.  You may be left feeling hurt, angry, frustrated, sad, or any combination of these.  So, how then would these feelings lead you to forgiveness?  The truth is they don’t. 

If we know the law of attraction, we know that like attracts like.  Bad negative feelings create more bad negative feelings.  It is therefore not realistic that these feelings that you are experiencing because you have been wronged in some way, will, all of a sudden, out of the blue, create a miraculous feeling of forgiveness inside of you.  Instead, these feelings will lead you the other way, to more intense negative feelings. 

You have to choose to forgive in-spite of those feelings.  This is a choice that you make because you recognize how bad you feel and realize that you don’t want to feel that way anymore.  Your feelings will then follow your decision.  Forgiveness brings with it relinquishment.  By making the choice to forgive, you free yourself up to let go of those horrible feelings and to feel good again.

Remember, forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself.  Choose to forgive and allow yourself to feel great again. 

One of the biggest considerations in achieving all that you want to achieve, actually being, doing and having all of your goals and aspirations is knowing why you want them.  Once you know why you can restructure your beliefs about them, no matter how big the goal or the desired outcome. 

Beliefs are astronomically stronger than desires.  You probably should read that again — Beliefs are astronomically stronger than desires!  Your why is directly proportional to your beliefs — the stronger the why the more you will work on ensuring that your beliefs will empower you to achieve.

As we all know our beliefs are learned, we are not born with them.  Our parents, society and the people within our circle of influence instilled them upon us.  As a result we can re-learn our old beliefs or we can learn new ones - that’s a fact.  Our beliefs have a large controlling influence on our sub-conscious mind, and our sub-conscious mind is responsible for 96 - 98% of our daily thoughts and activities.

Our brain has a filter — sort of like a noise de-limiter that you would put into a car stereo to eliminate the interference from the other electrical components.  The filter for our brain takes our thoughts and impulses that our senses pick up and deliver them to the appropriate parts of the brain.  That filter depends on our beliefs to know where most of these signals need to go and filters out the ones that do not fit within the structure.

This then stands to reason that even if we really want to earn a million dollars, but really do not believe that we will or can then we won’t.  We could have a million dollar idea hit our thought process and never act upon it because the filter in our brain checked the belief about being a millionaire, realized that we don’t believe in that so the filter discarded the thought entirely, putting it back into the universe for someone else to find.

Developing your why about earning a million dollars will assist you in developing and changing your belief about it.  A purpose, what you will do with the money, what you would purchase, who you would help and having an outcome bigger than you will allow you to believe that you can achieve.

If you’ve never heard of Rudyard Kipling’s timeless “If” poem, then you’re in for a real treat!  “If” provides an inspirational and motivational set of rules for living a fulfilled and integrity-based life, which is more relevant today than when Mr. Kipling wrote it.  You’ll find “If” to be a fitting blueprint for your own personal development. 

Enjoy!

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‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And - which is more - you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

This book is an incredible read.  It demonstrates the power of the mind and the success that can be created through operating with a positive mental attitude.  Each chapter is filled with stories of both people who have achieved great things by having a positive mental attitude, and those who have failed due to a negative mental attitude. 

The ‘Thoughts to Steer By’ section at the end of each chapter reviews the main principles discussed in the chapter and poses questions to the reader as to how to apply these principles to their own life.  This book provides both motivation and inspiration.  It can be truly life transformational if you choose to apply the principles taught.

Golf — Now there is a way to spend a couple of hours excercising your ability to pay attention to and control  your feelings.  Especially the ones that produce those nasty limiting beliefs we keep writing about.

I am not a golfer — not by even a stretch of anybody’s imagination.  As a matter of fact I usually call it “Swish — Darn — Drag Your Bag”.  On Sunday however, I was invited for a round of golf by a good friend that I used to work with and had been missing for a while now.  He is a good golfer, retired and when we worked together was really a surrogate Father for me.  You know what I mean I hope, he was someone I could depend on for advice in life situations and he never hesitated to give it — just like Dad.

When we got to the golf course it was really busy and because it was just the 2 of us, we were asked to be accompanied by another couple of people.  Wonderful people and again pretty good golfers.  Enter my first Limiting Feeling of the day:ought:

I can’t golf with these people — I will just delay and hold them up — which I was able to relpace with:

Even though I am unable to golf as well, I am so grateful that they will be able to give me some great tips and that they are so understanding.

What is amazing is that they were very understanding and they did offer some great tips.  As a matter of fact for every ball I hit over the fence they found 2 for me as they assisted me in looking for mine.  That in itself empowered me to develop an allowing statement of:

Many people are hitting golf balls out of bounds, just like me!

I wasn’t the only one hitting them over the fence and out of bounds and I knew it because I had the proof — there were a ton of lost balls in those woods.

As you can imagine, there were a ton and I mean a ton of limiting beliefs and feelings about my golf game as I progressed through the day.  Because of my experience with being a student of personal development, I was able to recognize them and re-phrase them as a positive statement instead of a negative statement.

To the unseasoned person of Personal Development the first 9 holes were disastrous and a non-believer would think — there I told you — that stuff doesn’t work.  The second 9 holes however proved my knowingness that controlling your feelings and your limiting beliefs is absolutely transformational.  All of a sudden I was hitting my drives straight, or at least straighter, I wasn’t losing my ball anymore and I was able to at least keep up.  I actually shaved over 10 strokes from the front nine — now that felt good!

Had I not been able to control my feelings I would have been an emotional wreck by the 6th or 7th hole and not enjoyed a single minute of the game.  The folks I golfed with all mentioned what a great attitude I had about being so bad at the game.  I think that was a compliment.

 Just like the age old discussion of which came first the chicken or the egg, there has been a similar discussion about thoughts and feelings.  Many believe that your thoughts come first and determine your feelings, while many others believe that you can first decide how you are going to feel and then let your thoughts come from your feelings.  Where do you stand on this?

According to the movie “The Secret” you have over 60,000 thoughts in a single day.  How could you ever possibly hope to have control over that many thoughts?  Even if you made the conscious effort to control a fraction of these thoughts, how do you turn those thoughts into feelings?  You would be extremely susceptible to your other uncontrolled thoughts to take over your feelings at any given moment.

In my opinion the only way you can use the law of attraction to bring you what you want, is to start with your feelings.  Your feelings are so much easier to be conscious of and therefore to control.  If you decide you want to be happy, you get to just be happy.  You can then bring happy thoughts into your mind to support this feeling.

Many great arguments have been made for both sides of this discussion.  I would love to hear some of your opinions.  Feel free to share your comments with us.

This is a question that, when answered honestly, will let you know whether life coaching and becoming a student of personal development is for you.  This all equates to your mindset and the ability to really apply the principles of Personal Development to you. 

So what is Mindset?

Mindset is defined as a set of beliefs that affect somebody’s attitude, their way of thinking which determines their behavior and outlook.

So where do our beliefs come from?  We are not born with them, we attain them as Life Happens.  Our beliefs are instilled upon us by our parents, society, our circle of influence and the Media.  Here are some of the Limiting beliefs that come up the most when I am presenting the Law of Attraction either live or on a teleseminar:

Money is hard to come by

The rich are all greedy

I don’t deserve that

I will have to work really hard

I am not smart enough to do that and

I cannot afford that

Realizing of course that these are all learned beliefs we can also realize that we can un-learn them and replace them with postive beliefs instead.  The simplest way to do that is to become a student of Personal Development and to use the services of a Life Coach.

Remember the old saying of Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — either way you are right.  This is a very true saying and proves that if you choose to believe then you will be choosing to achieve.  Change your limiting beliefs through studying Personal Development and the use of a Life Coach.  The results will be astonishing for you.  After all Personal Development is simply a process:  A process of causing yourself to change for the better, become stronger, more impressive and successful in all aspects.